Conan O'Brien Sunburned in Second Life

by Pixeleen Mistral, National Affairs desk

Second Life avatar caricature artist Christophe Hugo contacted the Herald to warn us that he will continue to humiliate a virtual Conan O’Brien in the metaverse until the real life talk show host pays a visit to Second Life to rescue his alter ego from Mr. Hugo. This is a serious business - virtual Conan already has a very bad sunburn from a Second Life Venice beach sunbathing session - Mr. Hugo would only allow Conan SPF 10 sunscreen which is just not anywhere near enough for a fair-skinned late night talk show host.

Sensing that I might somehow mediate a solution to this terrible injustice - Conan is going to be peeling for days - I paid a visit to Mr. Hugo and found a nearly completed theatre prepared for the real life Conan’s appearance - should he submit to this sort of avatar voodoo blackmail.

In the course of a wide ranging interview, I realized that not only is Conan O’Brien’s alter ego in grave danger. Many others could suffer avatar mistreatment in the metaverse at Mr. Hugo’s hands - including Osama Bin Laden, Bill Clinton, Gérard Depardieu, and french presidential candidate Segolene Royal.

While much has been made of Second Life as a business platform - brace yourself for waves of political satire as more artists work at combining caricature, machinima, and mau mauing the mainstream media, politicians, and other convenient targets.

Even after the interview I remained a bit in the dark about why we need a visit from Conan O’Brien - but perhaps this is one of those intercultural things I’ll never understand - like the french weakness for Jerry Lewis.

In any case - anyone who has ideas on how to torment a virtual Conan O’Brien ought to IM Christophe Hugo. Here are the high points of my interview with a virtual reality caricature artist and new media voodoo blackmailer.

virtual Conan O'Brien sunburnt on a gay beach

PM: I guess the immediate issue is what can you do to your Conan to make RL Conan want to save him.
PM: Have you though of going to a Gorean sim and becoming a slave?
CH: Conan becoming a slave? I had thought of doing that In "Hard Alley" :)
PM: well RL Conan has to want to save his SL persona from something
PM: What would be a fate worse than death for RL Conan?
CH: you are right. I am ready to anything that's non-XXX to humiliate Virtual Conan....
CH: btw I know that NBC lawyers scan YouTube on a frequent basis - so they may see my videos there.
PM: so aren't there free speech issues? I mean why NOT do an XXX video?
PM: Its parody or satire - seems like fair game to me
PM: but I write for the Herald - so what do i know? lol
CH: believe me - Conan went to Laguna Beach yesterday, in his speedo - and everybody fled.
CH: So w/o the speedo, I do not think so. just a personal choice, no censorship.
PM: k
PM: you could take him shopping for a *cough* attachment *cough*
CH: well so far I brought him to a nude beach, and we went exercise at Venice Beach
CH: plus a few other things
CH: he may have to cross dress soon though
PM: I think he needs to buy a prim dong - one of the scripted ones - just in case , you know?
CH: what's that?
PM: an anatomically correct Conan in SL might get NBC's attention even if you never use it
CH: oh, I thought you meant a "Bong" - it would have pleased the college crowd
PM: well, buy a bong too - bongs 'n dongs
CH: I'll smoke a bong in public, but not the other thing you mentioned lol
PM: it is tricky for you. you need to threaten him without going over the top
CH: and over the top is very high tough, he is a very tall guy.
CH: NBC's website is not helping - basically, they are saying: "Keep your packages, we do not want another anthrax scare!"

virtual Conan O'Brien visits Big Brother in his speedo

CH: you would like to take a pic of Conan in a green dress?
PM: sure
CH: hold on - I think I'll go behind you to change - (DO NOT GO WITH YOUR CAM!! :)
PM: if only my other interviews would protect my delicate sensibilities this well

Does Conan O'Brien approve of cross dressing in Second Life?

PM: that dress is a little short
CH: between this and going to Hard Alley - which is most humiliating you think??
PM: hard to say - hold still, let me get a picture
CH: oh boy the dress is too short indeed. well too late
PM: its a micro mini
CH: we are now into XXX, it's official
PM: you are showing a little hip on one side too - there is a little skin showing on the side
CH: since Conan got into his 40's he is gaining some weigh
PM: I can see that. plus good skits are hard to find in SL - take it from me
CH: are you done? this is almost embarrassing
PM: well it is SUPPOSED to be embarrassing
CH: (talk about users "feeling" for their avatars!!)
PM: nice touch with the freckles
CH: this is Segolene Royal by the way

Will French presidential candidate Segolene Royal model a bikini for Conan?

CH: oh btw - what would you think of having an article on the first 3D caricature of the Prophet?
PM: omg
PM: lol
CH: it's bound to happen, isn't it?
PM I never thought of that but yes this will happen
CH: I already have an Ossama
PM: someone will be the Salman Rushdie of the metaverse
CH: yes, I think I'll stop at Ossama for the moment:) even though I love controversy
PM: I HAVE to have a picture of this - Ossama found in metaverse
CH: FYI I tried to learn how to fly a plane in a sandbox...
CH: another business to create in SL: VODOO: "buy the avatar of your worst enemy and torture it!

Osama Bin Laden sighted in the metaverse

CH: my segoleneroyale.com site would be forbidden in France, I am sure of that.
CH: I get some nice visits here but also those occasional Frenchmen who believe I am a travestite LOL
CH: RISKY JOB
PM: you are a tortured artist, I think
CH: Why tortured?
PM: well the transvestite thing is so unfair
PM: you HAVE to do that for your art
CH: All artists are tortured.

Comments

[Nacon]

It's stupid, they won't give a shit about it because... they still make money... except Osama Bin Laden who doesn't have a PC anyway.

This just add another poor bleeding-fart-joke. I guess the Herald are turning themselves into a 3-cents Knock-Knock jokes magazine. (time to read real news from Second Thoughts and Second Cast from now on)

[Phil]

We need an avatar of Hillary Clinton REAL QUICK - I'd have some ideas on how to torture that one.

Phil

[urizenus]

Can celebrity machinima porn be far behind?

[Artemis Fate]

I think considering how much Conan lampoons himself on his own show, he'd probably think the avatar was hilarious

[Seola Sassoon a.k.a Random Writer]

I'd agree Artemis... hell, he'd probably make it a feature joke in monologue.