Trilling on Trilling on The Tallest Thing in Second Life

Will mega-phallic build impress oldbie Linden babes?

Freelance SL writer Mariner Trilling interviews SL builder Mariner Trilling

Mariner Trilling:  Hello Mariner.  I appreciate this opportunity to sit down and discuss your latest project.
Mariner Trilling:  Project?  What the fuck are you talking about?
 
Mariner Trilling:  I mean your latest structure, “The Tallest Thing in SL”
Mariner Trilling: ok dickhead, first off, it’s not a ‘project’ it’s not a ‘structure’.  It’s just a stack of prims.  Second of all, I’m not a ‘builder’.  I was just out surfing the grid one night doing tequila shots and found these parcels on the mainland with fucked up auto return settings.  I just started stacking prims and the next thing you know, it’s over two miles high.
 
Mariner Trilling:  Wow! Two miles!  That’s very impressive.
Mariner Trilling: … and stop fucking calling it ‘The Tallest Thing in SL’.  It’s the tallest thing I could find in SL.  …way taller than any buildings and shit.  You start calling it THE tallest thing and I’ll start getting IMs from assholes all over the grid who want to tell me how fucked I am and how much taller their thing is.  If word gets around that you got a really big dick, every other freak starts waving his dick at you trying to show you up.
 
Mariner Trilling: How many prims is it?
Mariner Trilling:  eh, I don’t know.  … probably around three hundred.
 

Mariner Trilling:  I see.  So the land owners allowed you to all the prims you needed to complete your build… uh your ‘thing’?
Mariner Trilling:  What? Are you kidding?  Nobody has to allow anything.  We’re talking about the Campus region just north west of Waterhead.  The place is a fucking shithole.
 
Mariner Trilling:  But isn’t the Campus region one of SL’s premiere educational sims?
Mariner Trilling:  yeah… It used to be pretty nice.  But now I don’t know what happened.  I think they sold a lot of it to private companies that let it all slide down hill.  Some parcels are restricted access, some are weird shapes, some have open build settings.  There’s prim litter, freebie cars and all kinds of crap laying everywhere.  The fucking sad part is that the sandbox is set to autoreturn.  It’s the only clean spot in the sim.
 
Mariner Trilling:  So what inspired you to start this creation?
Mariner Tilling:  I don’t know man.  I told you I was really hammered.  That’s why it’s all crooked.  It leans over the next parcel then straightens back.  I just found this place with all this crap laying around and saw there were still lots of available prims left and thought I’d use them.  Say, Pathfinder Linden isn’t going to be reading this is he?
 
Mariner Trilling:  uh… I’m not sure.  So you’re like a griefer?
Mariner Trilling:  I’m not a fucking griefer!  If these people want to make server resources available to any asshole that comes along, I have as much right to use them as some freak shooting off replicating penis bombs.
 
Mariner Trilling:  Your structure seems to be made of columns.  Was there a Grecian influence to its design?  …Maybe Doric?
Mariner Trilling:  What?  Are you fucking gay?
 
Mariner Trilling:  I’m sure our readers simply want to understand the aesthetic influences manifested in your creation.
Mariner Trilling:  I don’t know what the fuck that means but it sounds really fucking gay.

A newbie avatar wanders up to us during the interview and says, “Hello.”  Mariner Trilling sets him on fire with a HUD weapon then orbits him off into the sky.

Mariner Trilling: (laughing):  Did you see me scorch that guy!  That was sweet!

 

Mariner Trilling:  … uh yeah… uh ok.  You mentioned ‘penis bombs’.  Are you implying that this structure is a phallic symbol?

Mariner Trilling:  What kind of faggot question is that?
Mariner Trilling:  uh… anyway…   moving on.  What do you think will happen to your creation?  What are your plans for it?
 
Mariner Trilling:  I don’t know.  I just figure I’ll wake up one day with three hundred and something objects returned to my inventory.
Mariner Trilling:  Now that you’ve built the largest thing in SL, what’s next for you?  What’s your next goal?
 
Mariner Trilling:  I want to do a Linden chick.
Mariner Trilling:  what?
 
Mariner Trilling: I want to DO a Linden chick.  You know, pose balls, voice, cyber, the works.  It’s one thing in SL I’ve never tried.
Mariner Trilling:  You want to have a relationship with a woman from Linden Labs?
 
Mariner Trilling:  No, no.  I don’t want to ‘have a relationship’ with any particular woman from Linden Labs, I just want to cyber one of them, not a specific one.  But I don’t want any newbie Lindens or any of them with fucked up avatars.  I want one of the hot oldbie Linden babes, like Red Linden or Amber Linden.
Mariner Trilling:  Ok. Well that’s about all we have time for.  I appreciate you talking to me.
 
Mariner Trilling:  Yeah, Yeah, whatever.  You know, I used to be like you, all uptight, trying to be a ‘good citizen of the virtual world’, scared that I’d get AR’ed or banned.  What a wuss.
Mariner Trilling: That’s funny.  I was thinking I used to be like you, swaggering, self indulgent womanizer, no use to anyone, a waste of space.
 
Mariner Trilling:  Hey asshole!  You need to get laid and loosen up!
Mariner Trilling: You need to get a job and stop sucking off the rest of us!

Mariner Trilling’s ‘Tallest Thing in SL’ is located at the Campus region next to the sandbox.

Comments

[Faye Serendipity]

This was some good lulz

[Zauber Exonar]

Multiple Personality Disorder?

[Inniatzo]

Compared to the usual attempts at comedy in the Herald this wasn't bad.

[Winnie Euler]

WOW, that ... thing ... really exsists!

[MattyK]

So... 'bout dem penis bombs?
/hurr

[Avro Melkkoe]

You really think so Faye...?

And, two miles high? Someone missed the memo that Second Life uses the metric system.

[marilyn murphy]

obviously he was being serious about not being serious about this very important issue and you missed it. don't try to crowd this point with your obfuscatory observations you little twit.
as an aside to the author, the hottest linden ladies left on or before 2008.

[Tiffy Vella]

An evil part of me wants to see you turn it all physical.

[Alyx Stoklitsky]

Only two miles? I've got a megaprim penis longer than that. No joke.

[Prof. Archie Lukas]

Let me think.................
OOO I've got it:

Fucking Pointless story,

written in a pointless fucking style,

Hope you appreciate the expletives, 1st time I have resorted to them

[cockhoenut koala]

pfft. not the tallest nor is it functional.

[Darling Brody]

/me rezzes one 65km^3 megaprim and beats ya!

:p