by Pixeleen Mistral, National Affairs desk
Patrick Davison explains Sion Chickens in 5 minutes
Official presentation of the 2009 Avatar of the Year awards were unavoidably delayed by staff vacations during the holidays followed by a frenetic flood of breaking news in early 2010, but given the outstanding levels of achievement on the part of all this year's participants it would be criminal not to acknowledge their achievements.
And so, without further delay, the Herald is pleased to name the avatars that had the biggest impact - for better or worse - on the metaverse in 2009. Three avatars will join an elite group which includes such luminaries as the garrulous griefer Prokofy Neva, the grid crashing Plastic Duck, the infamous N3x13 and D3adl3yc0d3c, and Tizzers Foxchase of Woodbury University.
In third place for 2009, Sion Zauis and his Sion chickens represent the sort of customer service and ever changing rules of the game that haven endeared Linden Lab to its residents players.
Sion Zauis chickens, which require constant infusions of special food purchased with L$ spacebux, then fall victim to hard bumps from other players, intermittently produce eggs which created an unsustainable secondary egg economy - clearly Mr. Zauis is a master at Linden Lab parody. Even better, Zauis's perhaps unintentional parody ultimately enlisted a large population of players in his synthetic chicken enterprise.
The height of Mr. Zauis's achievements are documented in Patrick Davison's video explanation of how chickens ultimately became lagtastic weapons in the faction wars of Second Life. Today, the Herald salutes Sion Zaius and the flawed forced march upgrades of virtual chicken technology he subjected his customers to in 2009.
Giving griefers awards as top avatars is ridiculous, reckless, unwise, and unconscionable -- just change the name from Alphaville Herald to Griefer's Rag
Posted by: Ajax | February 22, 2010 at 12:05 PM
who is 1st and second lol and why no glory to the nebula X.x i r just as smart as nexy poo or codec. jk jk i know who should win 1st
ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNO TOAD
Posted by: Nebula | February 22, 2010 at 02:09 PM
@Ajax: "Giving griefers awards as top avatars is ridiculous, reckless, unwise, and unconscionable"
You've missed what was, for me, the most significant statement in the video - that the Essence of Second Life is conflict between factions.
Posted by: Alyx Stoklitsky | February 22, 2010 at 02:15 PM
Ol' Doc Zaius got hisself a racket, for sure. But he ain't no griefer: he sells snake oil to lonely gals who needs more lovin' but has to settle for raisin' fake chikkins.
Now if'n I could figure out me a way to make money from fake prim-baby food, hoo whee. I'd be:
Retired and gone to Lost Vegas in the Moturhome.
PS: In that shirt, Patrick Davison looks just like this skinny ol' city-boy we used to beat up in kidneygarden, 'cept he got a beard.
Posted by: Pappy Enoch, Fake Chikkin Fan | February 22, 2010 at 02:26 PM
Sion Zaius isn't a griefer, for one. And the award isn't for 'top avatar', it's for 'avatars that had the biggest impact - for better or worse - on the metaverse' a completely different thing.
The hard fact is, griefing probably does have the largest, most wide-reaching effect on grid and LL's policy, so it's only fitting that they do end up as the recipient of such awards.
If only upstanding avatars would work together for a common cause and gain wide-spread influence over the grid and policy, instead of simply grubbing after dollars, or figuring out what cute new hair to buy.
Posted by: Darien Caldwell | February 22, 2010 at 03:00 PM
You should have your Avatar of the Year and the runner ups to pose for Timothy as Post 6 girls.
Posted by: Mary Elizabeth | February 22, 2010 at 05:01 PM
I'm gonna take a wild guess that Kalel's going to get the 2nd or 3rd spot, with Plexus possibly sharing it. As much of an effect as NeilLife has had on the grid, please promise me that you won't give that little piece of shit any sort of award.
Actually, #1 maybe should go to whoever leaked the JLU wiki.
Posted by: Jahar Aabye | February 23, 2010 at 12:21 AM
"You should have your Avatar of the Year and the runner ups to pose for Timothy as Post 6 girls."
Hmmm, not sure this would work. Does Sion Zauis role play in Midian City?
Posted by: Scylla Rhiadra | February 23, 2010 at 01:07 AM
"Hmmm, not sure this would work. Does Sion Zauis role play in Midian City?"
...Like anybody Roleplays there but Mainstream DCS Twinks and Expensive Two-lining Whores. :|
...I really need to address the complete lack of SL Military/Grid Combat News on here.
Posted by: MattyK Snowpaw | February 23, 2010 at 04:22 AM
"Hmmm, not sure this would work. Does Sion Zauis role play in Midian City?"
True. I don't think he's a stripper or a prostitute, either. He is involved in shopping, though.
Posted by: Mary Elizabeth | February 23, 2010 at 06:30 AM
I agree #1 to the wiki leaker.
AND FUCK YEAH SCION CHICKENS!
Posted by: Gaara Sandalwood | February 23, 2010 at 09:05 AM
I'm rooting for either Pappy Enoch, Dianna Llewellyn, or Jumpman Lane for Avatar of the Year. Anything less would be a tragedy of epic proportions. Pappy and Jumpman should be honored for their sheer entertainment value - if trivia and irrelevance can be thought of as entertaining - and Dianna because her gravity-defying boobs are much bigger than those of Pappy and Jumpy, and most awards are won my complete tits anyway.
Posted by: Sigmund Leominster | February 26, 2010 at 01:43 AM
@ajax
Sadly, name one person on SL who has done anything noteworthy other than a "griefer"
griefer is sl-speak for controversial figure if you havent noticed.
oh right, you dont like controversial figures.
Posted by: At0m0 Beerbaum | February 26, 2010 at 10:11 PM