Alphaville Herald

Google's Lively is Dead - Requiem to be Announced Soon

Internet ad agency discontinues virtual robot closet sex platform to focus on core business, spend more time with family

by By Sigmund Leominster

Reports of Lively’s death turn out not to have been exaggerated after all. After the fanfare, hoop-la, bell and whistles of the Second Life killer’s opening, Google have just announced that Lively is dead. Well, if not death, in the terminal stages and destined to limp on flaccidly until the end of the year.

Back in September, Lively’s project director, Kevin Hanna, it was at the Austin Game Developers Conference where he announced that, “Our user-base exceeded every number that we had put down. So, in that sense, our beta is more successful than most launched products.” Tragically, the “success” was simply the ability to generate enough curiosity for people to visit the world at least once. The “New Frontier” turned out to be little more than a side road with nothing at the end of it and bugger all to look at on the way.

Hanna also pointed out that, “Google has no interest in virtual dollars. It’s never been our intent to make money that way.” Well, at least they got that one right.

Compete.com’s site analytics engine showed that Lively peaked at around 370,000 unique visitors in August 2008, but then dropped to 100,000 by September and stood at around 75,000 in October – about one night in Second Life on a busy evening. With Google’s stock price having dropped on a monthly basis since June 2008, from around 600 to under 300, it’s no surprise that projects that don’t offer any sort of return on investment would be facing the chop. Poor Lively didn’t really stand much of a chance.

Princess of Yaximixche Opens Palace in Google's Lively

by Idoru Wellman, Inter-world Royal Cultural Affairs desk

Reading between the lines of the latest press release from The Royal Press Office at Gukumatz Palace, Her Royal Highness The Princess of Yaximixche may still be suffering from hardware issues that prevent her from visiting her loyal subjects in SL.

However, all is not lost, as we learn that after a recent visit to the new Virtual World of Lively, Her Royal Highness asked to her Private Secretary the creation of a new royal residence. Builders immediately started with the design of Gukumatz Palace following the requirements of HRH Princess Manqo.

While the Princess may not always be present in Gukumatz palace, visitors can admire the lavish chinese and brown drawings room decorated with local plants and ornaments - decorations the Royal Press Office tells us where chosen in order to maintain a low ecological footprint in this building. Gukumatz Palace also has a new art gallery with a multimedia display about the Amazon Rainforest deforestation and its effects on climate change.

Robot Closet Sex In Google's Lively Chatrooms

Experience the joy of the lively tentacle

by Pixeleen Mistral, International Affairs desk

players rejoice as robot closet thrusts it's tentacles on demand

Google claims their Lively 3D chatroom is a de-sexualized platform where players can safely interact with each other. But the players have other ideas, and have even found a way have virtual sex - using a piece of furniture provided by Google -- the Robot Closet.

At first blush, the robot closet seems harmless enough, but players soon realized the closet has an animation that causes 4 tentacle-like robot arms to thrust suddenly out of their retracted position, then return to the retracted position. According to reliable sources, Lively players feeling amorously inclined will place a Robot Closet in a secluded chatroom, then position themselves so that the animated arms of the closet appear to thrust from one player into another. Vigorous clicking of the closet follows, to trigger the animation as the avatars pleasure each other.

One might wonder if this will result in an increased demand for one of the more esoteric forms of Japanese anime porn - robot tentacle hentai - as pre-teens and teens enjoy some of their first online sexual experiences with robot tentacles courtesy of Google.

Lively Lesbian Subtext to Google's 3D Chatrooms?

Google's Lively "Heather" & "Vanessa" Avatars Can't Dance With Boys
Fighting breaks out in Jen's Coffee House

by Pixeleen Mistral, International Affairs desk

I have enjoyed my time in Lively so far, but there are parts of the experience I find troubling - I simply cannot dance with irishJohn36. I met irishJohn36 in Jen's Coffee House, and after sitting chatting with him and another guy named "Photographer", irishJohn36 suggested we get up and dance.

"Photographer" had been IMing me privately asking for photos - I sent him some links to Pixeleen Mistral pictures I found using in Google's image search -- after all, when in Google, do as the Googles do. But "Photographer" wanted much more for his collection and was getting rather insistent and tiresome. IrishJohn36 seemed to be a bit more of a gentleman, and I hadn't danced with anyone yet, so I stood up from my chair and clicked on irishJohn36's avatar to bring up a list of animations I could perform with him. Strangely, dance was not listed - but slap was.

Very soon, a nimbus of guys appeared around me, as irishJohn36, "Photographer", and others started punching, kicking, and dropping anvils on each other, leaving me at the center of a vortex of virtual testosterone violence. That was when irishJohn36 suggested we find another scene to try to dance.